Back to school asks the parents of twins an additional question, namely: should we put them in the same class or not? Mistress, parents, and psychologists deliver their opinions.
Being a parent is not easy. But having twins adds a lot of extra questions … especially as the school year approaches! The question of separating them at school or not. The twins are indeed two individuals in their own right, with very distinct personalities, who nevertheless share a very special relationship.
As parents, we can quickly be tempted to maintain this fusion. Within the National Education, there is no regulation on this subject. Two positions are possible: some schools strongly advise separation and others prefer to leave the decision to parents.
To our knowledge, no direction advocates forced union, but in some schools with only one class per level, the question does not arise.
Will separating them help them reveal their individuality?
The main thing is to make sure to individualize them. We can differentiate them by dressing them differently or by leaving them a choice of different extra-curricular activities: as we would for children of close ages!
But we can not deny the particularity of the twins: They come into the world with a companion, even before their birth. This strong link will also help them grow and build. So what to do when the option of separating them presents itself?
Some studies have looked into the subject. Researchers Gleeson, Hay, Johnston and Theobald concluded in the 1990s that mandatory separation could not be scientifically justified.
They recommend that the placement decision should be based on what is best for each family. What do those who are directly concerned think?
Marion, mother of Aaron and Eliott, 9-year-old twins:
“In the nursery school, the question did not arise: from a practical point of view, having them in the same class is an advantage: they have the same hours, the same homework, they have attended The same class can help, but when they arrived in primary school, Aaron’s best friend was in the other class and he asked if he could join him, and we initially feared to separate them.Eliott seemed comfortable with the idea of not having his brother close to him, yet they are very close together, they play together all the time, but now in the evening, they are even happier to meet each other. They tell each other their stories, and then the teacher tells me that they still spend their recess together with their respective friends! ”
Nadège, mistress in primary school in Bordeaux
“I have experienced all situations as a teacher, and when it comes to a girl and a boy, having them in the same classroom is even less of a problem, because in general, they will create circles of friends and girlfriends different. The split is made more easily of itself. In my opinion, the only disadvantage to having monozygotic twins in the same class is to confuse them at first. Recognizes personalities and mimicry, in my opinion, the best is not to impose anything: there are as many situations as there are twins. The best is to let things happen naturally. Parents can explain to children that they may be in the same class or separated, they will see how their children react, in any case, I do not think that having them in the same class promotes more or less competition problems between them. ”
The opinion of Nathalie Lalonde and Daniel Moisan, psychologists and parents of twins
Authors of a study on the question, Nathalie Lalonde and Daniel Moisan are closely involved since they are parents of twins themselves … “In a society that advocates individualism, complicity, proximity, and rapport the twin are sometimes seen as unhealthy, yet for a twin, being a twin is part of his identity and it is not by separating them that this fact will change.
In our opinion, the identity of the children does not is not a threat, it is a myth that has a hard time, yet there is no scientific evidence to support such a statement Competitive spirit exists in many children Competition between children is a problem In a small number of twins, the competition can be healthy and motivate for many twins, and a competitive child will be as healthy with the other kids in the class as it is with the twin. ”
The opinion of Patrice Bak, a psychologist specializing in twinning
In several books, Patrice Bak has been interested in twins. According to him, “soliciting their separation from kindergarten is premature because they are in a phase of complementarity. They need to build one with respect to the other. From 5/6 years, when they enter primary school, the question may begin to arise, we can begin to talk to them about it, without rushing them in.
The school is already quite anxious for the children, and with them, they can reassure themselves and collaborate. : we must preserve this unique bond while allowing them to develop their individuality. At the same time, do not expect the same things from their two twins. The job of parents is not to put them in competition, but to bring them precisely to flourish at best, together or separately. “