You have recruited and trusted a nanny to care for your baby. Nevertheless, some days, you would like to be a little mouse! Our advice to reassure you about the maternal help that takes care of your little one.
With Juliette Viatte author of “A nanny to avoid traps and choose it well”, editions of Toucan. This time, that’s it, you’ve returned to work, and your toddler is now guarded by his nanny. Admittedly, he is not the only one: like him, nearly 800,000 young children are welcomed by a maternal assistant in France. And you know that you entrust your child to a professional who has received training and received a license.
What reassure you … In theory! Because here we are all the same. Difficult not to worry when you entrust the apple of your eyes to another person! Instead of stressing you unnecessarily on the baby nanny relationship, you need to be clear about it. And there, nothing easier … Follow these few tracks!
Watch your baby and his nanny
“This is the first alarm,” says Juliette Viatte. Baby’s behavior is a good indicator. If your child seems happy to find his nanny, if he goes easily in his arms, if you find him smiling at night and he is not in a hurry to leave, it is that everything is going well.
Attention: conversely, it is not because he cries when you leave in the morning that he is unhappy with her! Toddlers are very sensitive to breaks, they need continuity of places and people. It is normal for your child to be reluctant to separate from you, especially at the beginning. If, after two months, he continues crying every morning, it is, however, legitimate for you to ask questions.
Especially if you notice that his behavior changes: he has trouble falling asleep, he becomes capricious, he sulks, he expresses anxiety … “This is probably the sign that between the nanny and Baby it does not happen, “warns Juliette Viatte. Talk to the coordinator of the maternal assistant relay (RAM) or the PMI (maternal and child protection), she can advise you.
Chat with the maternal assistant
Between your nanny and you, a bond is woven, nourished exchanges. Do not hesitate to ask him questions about the course of the day. Was he in a good mood, did he sleep well, what did he do?
By the way, she tells you the nice appetite he showed at noon, his cries of joy at the park seeing the pigeons or his new interest in the box forms, you will know that she is interested in him and that she is attentive to her well-being.
Informing your maternal assistant is essential!
Dialogue is not just about asking questions. For your part, your nanny needs to know what is going on in your family. Some events may have an impact on your child’s mood or balance.
Are you thinking of moving? Do you talk about having a second child? Your sister-in-law arrives from New Zealand and settles at home with her twins? Keep her informed. This will help him better understand what is going on in your child’s head and why he is a little cranky, tired or excited right now.
Visit from time to time to your baby and his nanny
It’s not about landing at any time of the day, shouting “surprise! You would only create a climate of suspicion that is not conducive to a relationship of trust. But you can pretend a forgotten computer to go back home.
Or arrive a little earlier in the evening at the maternal assistant and say that a meeting has been canceled. If you know that your nanny regularly takes your child to the park, why not go find them one day? You do not have to hide behind a chestnut tree to spy on it.
Go slowly in the open … you’ll have plenty of time to see if she is playing sand or ball with your child, or on the contrary busy chatting with other nannies while he paused in his stroller.
Baby-nanny: listen to what others are saying
Your nanny does not spend all day locked in between her four walls, thankfully! She crosses necessarily other people: neighbors, babysitter, other moms … Take the time to chat with them, be attentive to their remarks. “Too often, people only talk when there is a problem, and the break between the nanny and the parents is consumed, observes Juliette Viatte.
It’s a shame, it would have been better if they dared to say what they had noticed before! »Survey the terrain smoothly. Do you use a nanny at home? Ask your caretaker if your child has a smile when she meets him in the hall. Ask your neighbor: how does she find your new nanny? If your toddler is greeted by a maternal assistant, take the time to chat with the parents of other children she keeps, engage in conversation with moms who have their habits in the square where she walks … All echoes agree? You can sleep on both ears!